news

2007-04-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

Long Time No Nothing

OK. Anticipating hauling this bugger into life soon, so I thought I'd wake it up.

Anyway, currently I'm writing two monthly columns for Hyper Magazine, one of World of Warcraft, the other on various MMOs. I've also started doing a few features for them.

Eldritch Kid got a 'beta' tradepaperback recently. More coming soon.

Eldritch Kid 2 slouches towards Bethlehem. There's some problems but go check it on www.eldritchkid.com for some news.

Wrote a book for Chaosium which should be out in a few months, about Magic in the Cthulhu mythos. Really rather proud of that, truth to tell.

And more news when I haves it.

2006-12-13T02:58:00.000-08:00

Slack ass

Not much been going on for the last few months. Been fighting money and ill-health blues. A despairing mix. Been writing a lot for Hyper magazine, so if you're in Australia, NZ, parts of South-East Asia, pick it up and check it out.

Moving house and blah blah, mundane.

Anyway, recently signed on to release a sequel to Eldritch Kid. Its called Silver Smoke Mirror and it concerns the adventures of the Kid south of the border.

Signed on with a new publishing house, the fine people at Gestalt Comics. I've written a story with them called Burning, for their excellent anthology. You may, ahem, wish to purchase it.

Its like a Dude in the Coat with no jokes at all.

Gestalt have also started up a shared workblog for the Kid, over at The Eldritch Kid Dot Com.

So go, check it out.

Cheers.

2006-07-31T07:45:00.000-07:00

Gold for Australia

So the Ledger Awards were just announced. Eldritch Kid won Best Independent Press Title of the year, for which I'm very happy indeed. I also won silvers for Best Writer and Best Short Story, along with Tonia Walden, for 'The Record'. Couldn't be happier.

Thanks to everyone, especially the organisers!

Also Witch King is up on Amazon if you'd like to perouse it.

2006-01-27T15:02:00.000-08:00

Some news.

Alright.

Witch King Should be up and alive and in stores near you as we speak. If it's not, you can still order it via shops or the above link.

One day, I'll tell you all the horrible story of getting this book to print.

Anyway, I think you'll like it. It's a beautiful artefact.

2005-11-29T21:13:00.000-08:00

Just setting up the new website and setting up the old Blogs.

2004-05-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

I'm a Producer now

Colin Wilson, Christopher "Brett" Burns and myself have recently been hired to teach comic book creation classes.

It's roughly divided up into two form. One is for 14-18 year olds, one for everyone else.

Colin, if you don't know, has been producing comics in Europe for over twenty years and worked on the Point Blank mini-series for Wildstorm. Christopher Burns is the artist on the upcoming Eldritch Kid series, is a freelance illustrator and has been doing minis here and in the States for about five years and I've written some stuff here and for the states.

Classes of eight, mainly art stuff but I'll drop in to discuss some comic writing theory.

There's three classes,

June the Second - 6 week course. Colin and Christopher

June the Fourth - 8 week course. Christopher and Christian.

June the Seventh - 4 week course. Colin and and Christopher.

There's various times, but we're looking at 4-6 then 7-9, currently.

The classes are held at shop 11/ 427-455 Hampton Street in Hampton, Victoria.

For enquires/bookings, call Linda Roberts at 9598 1341.

Spaces are filling up, so if you're interested, or you know people who are, please check it out. It's a great space, early lessons have gone very well indeed, and there's a lot of talented people involved.

Dig it!

2004-04-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

Just a new innarview

http://www.jazmaonline.com/interviews/read.htm

2004-03-24T05:51:00.000-08:00

MASTER OF LIGHT!

I can go where no one else goes
Check your head now,
and hold on tight

Down the bottom, like Alice.

It's surfing time with the Master of Light

What a legend this man is. Steven Grant goes on the Dave Land and Diana Schutz Celebrity Taking Bullets List. This means, if the oppurtunity comes up, and I'm not, you know, doing something, I will put myself between them and a bullet. Said bullet should hopefully not be fired out of a gun, just, you know, lying around or something.

Thanks. Seriously. A lot of you have said nice things about me recently and gone to bat for a silly book about nonce's punching each other in the name of International Socialism. I dig it.

If you're reading this from that link, perchance, and wish to perouse find reading material, head on over to Phosphorescent Comic's Webpage and kindly find ordering information there. Yes indeed.

Life's a big explosion
...
Ain't it cool?

To celebrate, there's a mini-article over in the column.

2004-03-21T16:17:00.000-08:00

Attn: FOR IMMEDIATE PRESS RELEASE YOU EVIL BASTARDS.

Right, the Christian Read Celebrity Hot Top Party Visigothic Tour of The Whole Fucking World has BEGUN!

Actually, I'm going to Auckland for the Armageddon Con and possibly a store signing. This is on the fifteenth, through to the eighteenth of April. There, I was shocked to learn I would not be hob-knobbing with the voice of Megatron. Ah, Megatron, one of my first true heroes. When you killed Optimus Prime with a cowardly stalagmite into his noble robot guts, my heart melted and I knew what love was.

From there, I'm off to visit Weeta with my old mucker Dancin' Donnie "Don" Brooker. If things work out. Which they will. Either way, the sex-god genius behind Cesspool will come dance with me.

It's back to Sydney to restomp my old stomping grounds then. By stomping grounds, I mean, pubs and Opium Dens.

And here, dear friends, I have around 7 days of Sydney time as I'll be mucho busy with promo stuff for the con, so I shan't head down to Melbourne just then.

I'll be doing Supanova, where we shall be, I think, doing an official Watch launch, or something special. I forget what. Come see us. Then a day or two chilling and back to Melnibone, land of the Hobbits.

Not much a world tour but... hey buddy, this is all I got.

2004-03-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

"The Plea for Sanity Dollar

It's that time again, when I throw myself on the mercy of, well, everyone in the world. Sorry for flooding the boards with these messages.

OK. You've seen the link to a whole big section devoted to a huge amount of artwork from our upcoming mini-series, Casus Belli.

For those of you who have been following the Watch, it finally brings the messiahanic lunatic and super leader Lucifer into play. We also get to see exactly what the Watch do, now they've given up trying to be anarchists and have become a multi-national corporation.

It's got art by Stewart McKenny. Stewart is inking Captain America, has worked on Star Wars tales and has been involved with many, many local projects, including Rex Helliwig.

Annette Kwok is a newcomer, and she's amazing. Her colour are incredible. Just... like no one else's. She's down for life, man. She's incredible.

Hell, Jason Kovacs, the funniest man I know, our letterer is a talented, talented chap.

And me, well, I've been worked on the last dozen or so issues of the Watch with artists such as Jan S, Scott Fraser, Andrew Phillips and Stewart.

Coming out, I've got Witch King, with Paul Abstruse, Diggsville: Mafia, with Image's Doug Holgate, Top Cow's Nicola Scott, Monkey Belinda, Mattay Bayliss and a lot of other talents. Plus a few other books that it's too early to talk about. I know those names won't mean much to many of you but wait a year or two.

Now, here's the thing.

We're going full colour now. Diamond, who have been behind us from day one are confident about the book. I'm confident about the book, and so is the publisher, Ben.

But we need your help.

Here's some numbers Ben, my publisher, chucked around on my boards.

"We need to inspire 5000+ orders here on #1 in ONE month (by about this time in APRIL) to make printing feasable for the 3 parts of the full colour series.

At a guessed at average of 5 copies ordered per store, that's 1000 stores that need to be impressed enough by this material (and the general vibe), and impressed enough to order via Previews."

That number is doable, but it's gonna be hard. And if we don't make it, well, things will get tough.

So, we need your help.

So, if you've ever bought a copy of the book, been reading, been a fan of any of the artists mentioned above, do me and them a favour. The next time you rock up to your local comic store, just ask the person behind the counter if they have the new Watch series by Phosphorescent. This kind of word of mouth is invaluable to us. If you're asked about australian comics on other boards, please, talk about it with other people. Post the art on your blogs, your livejournals, your homepages, other message boards.

I know that personally, Ian Gould in Brisbane has been extremely supportive. Kings Comics in Sydney and Phantom Zone have always been personally very supportive. Minotaur in Melbourne has a nice selection of the books. I'm sure there's others. Mention us to those guys, let them know you're interested, or others might be. OS readers, let people know about us.

If you're a retailer, get a hold of Phosphorescent for ordering details.

Honestly, I think it's a great read. It looks fantastic, it's got a lot of stuff exploding and dying and ... well, we begin to really get into some of the mythology of the Watch here and it's politcal without being preachy. It's a bit more superheroey than other Watch series, but if you're a fan of Wildcats, Authority, Morrison's JLA, Stormwatch, I think you'll like this. It's been getting great reviews.

Try it, you just might like it.

So, yeah. That's it. No more showboating from me here.

Thanks to everyone who has supported the books over the years.

We've received a lot of mail and a lot of personal well-wishing at cons here and abroad and, hopefully, you'll dig this one as well. Every email I got, every comment you have ever made in person that's been supportive, or encouraging, well, I remember everyone and they all meant something.

It's been a fun ride so far.

I'm proud as hell to have told a good story, work with the incredible names I have, and made the friendships I enjoy because of this book and I really hope we make these numbers.

Cheers,

2004-03-16T22:16:00.000-08:00

Big News

First up, check the press release here.

The go here for a huge full colour preview of the next Watch mini-series.

Here's our mini-bios.

And finally, Check this for a mini-interview with Me and Mighty McKenny."

"I didn't even have to grab my AK. It was a very, very good day

2004-03-10T04:12:00.000-08:00

Linky link round up

There is nothing worse in the universe than animals

Log, Homo Hero God of the Naughties, chucks meat at floating wizard

Ahistorical robots fight Yanqi pigdogs

All Hitler, all the time

Contemplating going to NZ. Getting pics together for the galleries. More news soon, I hope.

2004-02-24T05:54:00.000-08:00

I'm a commander, baby

I submitted some prose stories a little while back. They got accepted, rather enthusiastically. Bit of money and another credit. Tasty.

MO Magazine, for the record. More details when I know it. Almost straight fiction. No superheroes, no magic, hardly any weirdness.

What happens when Jonathon Carroll gets smashed with Tom Waits? Well, me... I suppose.

It took about twenty seconds to start talking about getting drunk with the editor, so, you know, I'm in good hands there. They also did what editors do best, which is make a work better and explain why and how.

Being proud of you work is good. Being precious ain't.

Back to screaming at Windows Media Player till my Great Crusades MP3's work. Fucking C00D11CD error. I am going to hold you down and have you buggered by apes. Apes with sores.

Oh, and hi to all the people that have joined the friends list in the last week.

2004-02-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

2004-02-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

Some of you might remember that my old pal Don works for WEETA, the special effects company behind Lord of the Rings. He's doing tyrannosaurs models, I think, for King Kong. Some dinosaur.

Anyway, the magnificent bastard recently sent me this email.
Some of you might remember that my old pal Don works for WEETA, the special effects company behind Lord of the Rings. He's doing tyrannosaurs models, I think, for King Kong. Some dinosaur.

Anyway, the magnificent bastard recently sent me this email.

"Kong meeting with Peter Jackson today.....the dinosaurs survived the break
relatively unscathed.....spent the last two days sculpting a life size Gandalf out of butter for the queen. It smells vile and is quite glarey once the sun comes out.

We had a few visitors through the workshop yesterday who were treated to the usual tour of the models, swords and monster plus the bonus feature!........ 3 guys in sunglasses, greased up hacking into a 9ft pile of lard.".

When queried about why the best dancer in Australian comics was making a butter Ian Mckellan for Her Majesty, Don replied with this message.

"Butter .....it's a traditional thing for banquets. A 'tromp l'oeil' an illusion of food.....which by coinsedence was addressed in my last comic. The Queen is into it.... or was. It's in the museum at the moment, a trinket for the aniversary of her visit.

The Butter Gandalf, not my comic... though I'm sure she'd dig my drawing too.... one would think."

For the record, Don's art is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen.

Sometimes I have no idea why I get to meet the groovy cats I do. But I'm glad of it.

New Rant up.

2004-02-12T19:03:00.000-08:00

It's alive!

2003-11-09T18:56:00.000-08:00

Read my Comics!

Or Lego Hitler will get you.

2003-10-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

To Laugh and Revel and Kill

Most of you know that I am utterly and completely obsessed with the writer Lovecraft. Have been since I was 12. I think he's (and I'm completely honest here) one of the ten most important writers of the 20th century.

Now, most of you who have been reading this journal know, I've been utterly terrified of this this storyfor some time now.

The correlations between the central conceit of Lovecraft, that humanity is simply a parasitic race, that all our yearnings towards knowledge will simply uncover dread secrets that will end civilisation, if not humanity are quite... scary. At least to an overimaginative little cuss like myself.

I'd like to thank my friend Belinda for forwarding this new link, from the Vent Acoustic Monitoring Program. It's the sound the bastard, monstrous thing makes. I'd like to also thank her for her little message.

"Listen to that, and think about the fact that it was probably made by a living thing, big enough to be heard at least 1500 miles away."

Sleep tight, children.

"...still lives too, I suppose, again in that chasm of stone which has shielded him since the sun was young. His accursed city is sunken once more..."

2003-10-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

Because...

Sometimes, this world that offers few rewards gets it right. My mate and hopefully artistic accomplice Don is now working for WEETA, the effects house behind a little film called Lord of the Rings.

Don is modelling dinosaurs for King Kong.

Lift your glasses, please.

2003-10-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

Big Ass
Update over in the column section.

Hope you dig it.

2003-09-24T05:33:00.000-07:00

You know...

I've been banging on for years about how people who talk about the fucking Dalai Llama should actually shut up and not read the cuddly shite about how we should all walk hand in hand. Someone else is pointing out some facts as well. This without discussing his early poltical stances, or even talking about the theological implications of what his fleeing actually means.

2003-09-18T03:38:00.000-07:00

A little... something something

I'm sorta embarrased to do this but...

At the comic convention this weekend up in Brisbane, Phosphorescent comics completely sold out the run of the preview edition of The Watch: Casus Belli.

Gone before lunch the second day. An emergency print run had to be made for the much larger con in New Zealand that starts tommorow. Apparently we also sold out of the 'Lucinda' poster for Witch King and have only a very few copies of the WK preview editions left.

Early feedback is, to say the least, encouraging. Sometimes a little bit too much so.

But the best bit of it is? I get a new royalty cheque. I love getting back ends (settle). Makes me feel like a big, big man.
Feeling the best I have about Work for a long, long time.

Alright. Enough crowing.

2003-09-15T20:54:00.000-07:00

Watch News

I finally finished The Watch: Cathexes, last night. My little thank you to every blistering, horrendously violent, eerily beautifiul action film I've ever seen. It's been hellishly complicated as it reveals one of the central mysteries of the series.

If I could do it over again, I would never, ever make the decision to start the story in media res and explicate and explain it as I went. It's too hard, not visual and slows the pacing. But I think I've made it work. At the very least, there's a pretty great grenade in the head sequence.

I also think the main protagonist, the Fisher, is finally given the proper exposure people have been after for a while.

Which reminds me, go into your local comic shops next week and place an order for The Watch: Casus Belli. Please. Pappa needs to eat! It don't matter if you ain't gonna buy it. Just asking will affect the blind orders retailers make. Several people working in retail have told me if they get one specialty order, they'll get two for the shelf. Dead set, anyone who does this will receive favours of kinds indescribable in a public forum.

I'll get an ordering number when I know it.

Cheers, lads.

Also, Johnny Cash died. I wrote a piece over on the column.

C

2003-09-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

Hey.
Odd little request here, but...
If you are, or you know, any one who has done serious work with the Cthulhu Current, could you get a hold of me on christianread@outgun.com
Cheers.

C

2003-08-26T14:36:00.000-07:00

This lady is one of my closet friends in the entire world. Go here and have a read of what she's up to. I've known her for a decade and there she is in Britian, conquering it like some sort of Caesar in a cocktail dress.

2003-08-16T01:06:00.000-07:00

Been a while. Sorry for that. Lot's going on.
Phosphorescent is about to unveil a preview edition of Casus Belli, the next Watch mini-series. There's a press release and some preview images. I hope you dig it. A simple wander over to
http://www.phosphorescent.com.au will show you more.

Thanks.

More news soon.

2003-07-20T01:57:00.000-07:00

OK. Christianread.net seems to be back online.

2003-02-26T02:29:00.000-08:00

Well, trump my fuckhorn, Muchango.

Me old pal Donald Brooker, who is working on one of my scripts, has gone and made good.

Freakish animations and Bataille references ahoy, kids!

You're looking for Formidable Rules of Engagment

Clever, engaging stuff. Congratulations, Don

2003-02-23T18:54:00.000-08:00

Probably just barking in the dark

But still... hope spings eternal.
Here's today's trawl of links.

Salman's up to trouble again. Wily little bugger that he is.

Remember the lady who said "What would Mohammed think? He would probably have chosen a wife from one of them." and so got herself similarly fatwaed? Well, she's finally talking about it.

Here's a disturbing story about self publishing. Vanity publishing is bad. Don't do it.

Finally, you might want to check out the classic Ambrose Bierce work The Devil's Dictionary online. I had a copy once but an ex went and pinched it.

Now go. The fun part of my day is over.

2003-02-16T16:08:00.000-08:00

Awake

Up.
Too early. Angry music. Marching orders.

I'm alternating Coil and Slayer on the trusty winamp while drinking the shitty instant coffee I swore I'd never taste again. The hempishpheres of my brain are spooked, ready to bolt at any rattlesnake motions. Electrics spark in my fingers. Twitch. Tombstones gnash in my jaw. Even the little trees in my gut are swaying. This is freeform. Our army is gathering. Good guy black hats.

Cliches running through my head. "When spiders unite they can tie down a lion."

"One for all, all for one."

"If you don't stand for something you fall for anything."

Cliches? Overused aphorisms?

Sure.

They just happen to be true, motherfucker.

2003-02-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

Parting those Red Seas

I went and saw Bowling for Colombine last night.
Perhaps a bit heavy emotionally, but like a wise man once said, "I use the enemy", so I can let it slip.

And I thought the conclusions were delicately understated. Also glad to see that my recent mouthings off aren't the rantings of a paranoid...

So, checking into Moore's website, something I've not done for a while, I was quite shocked to find that Moses is up to
this.

Do please click on that link, especially if you've seen the film.

2003-02-09T23:24:00.000-08:00

Bloody Hell

L. Frank Weber has gone and said some frightfully nice things about me on it, so I suppose I should do him a favour and feed my ravenous ego by directing you over to his sinister, Widow's Son of website.

LL. Cool. Frank, as I call him is an artist of prodigious talents. Able to crush ball bearings with only a wink and capable of charming all women within a seventy three foot radius by humming secret Tibetan throat music, Senor Weber, is actually the only Australian artist visible from space and could power Las Vegas for a staggering nine days with only the power of his love.

I hear he has an axe.

So. Go. Check him out. He's actually, I reckon, the next bloke to break in and make those seppos know what time it is.

Dig it.

2003-01-31T18:28:00.000-08:00

Home Again

Just spent the week in Melbourne. Grand time, saw lots of folks. Go check it out over on the rant section.

Some projects procceed apace. Brett Burns working on a project, Garth Jones kicking out a few jams and Donald Brooker doing some tasty things indeed on Surgeons.

More news very soon indeed.

2003-01-08T20:24:00.000-08:00

You're the big winner, Mikey!

Well, just won the OzComics Best Writer award for the second time running. Thanks to those of you who voted. It's an honour just to be nominated!

Nah. It's very cool.
Cheers all.

Sadly, the ozcomics server died recently and took away all the nice things people said about me. They might be back in a while.

On being informed that no physical prize was awarded, my very dear friend Jen informed me:

"You are nerds. You collect all sorts of weird figurine collectors items shit. I think the best option would be a custom made figurine of yourself at your desk. Then fans can also capitalise on this. They can collect your whole study, complete with full ash tray, broken heater and occasional naked women (just as a selling point of course)....each sold separately."

Which proves that Jen is both smarter and crueller than me.

And a Witch King script sample is up on the Rant page right now. RUN!

2003-01-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

Well, that's all over

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, all that stuff. Hope it was good for you all. For the record, I received an enormous book of Blake plates that I've basically been staring at for days now. Oh yes.

Over on the rant page, you'll find why I didn't like Two Towers very much. I wrote it while half-cut so you'll forgive me, I hope, a certain lack of eloquence.

In comics news, Witch King is stepping up production. Issue #1 of the remixed, remasterd version is all but done. Paul has started drawing the fourth and penultimate issue. The Causus Belli trade is proceeding apace. Except some script excerpts to be put up soon. From CB or Witch King, not sure yet.

The news Star Wars Tales came out and seems to be well received.

Hopefully some news on a return to the Dunwich characters soon. And some new Dude in the Coat stuff coming. Yes indeed.

2002-12-18T05:21:00.000-08:00

FOLLOW THE LINK NOW

This essay is the best essay I have read in two years. I was shocked by the amount of cultural touchstones we had in common. From Atari Force to Erik Davis to Doctor Octagon and Sun Ra. Pretty much everything he said here, everything he touched on, is something I deeply love and have been involved with, had a dialogue with for years.

Go and read it.
Repeat.
Go and read it.

I can't find a way to contact the writer but, and this is a complete pipe dream but the interweb is a strange place, if anyone knows or knows how to contact this guy, let him know from me that I was floored by this piece.

Floored

I

2002-12-15T21:37:00.000-08:00

Somewhere, Grant Morrison is nodding sagely.

2002-12-14T18:27:00.000-08:00

Out Now!

Star Wars Tales #14 is out now. It's got flesh eating ewoks.

Hope you dig.

2002-12-11T05:08:00.000-08:00

"Don�t you understand?" he says, his voice rising. "We got into the White House and forfeited the game. You�re supposed to stand for something . . . to generate sound ideas, support them with real evidence, and present them to Congress and the people. We didn�t do any of that. We just danced this way and that on minute political calculationsand whatever was needed for a few paragraphs of a speech."

http://www.ronsuskind.com/writing/esquire/esq_rove_0103.html

I don't often read conservatives, but this is worth your while.

2002-12-04T17:31:00.000-08:00

Heh

Dippy Broad Went And Did It

Ladies and germs, I bid you welcome to the Men of Australian Comics Calender

2002-12-04T03:47:00.000-08:00

OzComics Awards

You have to be a member to be involved but I thought you might all be interested in seeing what I'm nominated for.

I, or projects I'm involved with, have been nominated for are

Best Internationa Achievment by an Australian

Best US Format Comic(Non mini or zine)

Favourite Writer

Best Australian Achievement of 2002

To everyone involved, godspeed, you Black Emperors.

2002-12-02T05:38:00.000-08:00

A Proposal Which Seems Like It's Going Nowhere

Go. Please.

CCJ

2002-11-25T02:35:00.000-08:00

My Town is Burning

I haven't seen the news. Walking home from the pub. Smoke. Fire. The crisp heat that makes you sweat in the breeze. Sydney is on fire, somewhere.

It's something you get used to. The last big fires, I volunteered to man phones at one of the headquarters. Tired SES men and women, covered in soot. mantled in a weariness the echoed down to marrow, sipping coffee, smoking strong cigarettes, quietly cursing. The cab drive home through a place that on friday was a leafy, quiet drive Jon and I did for years, a ruin of heat and ash by sunday.

The suburb neighbouring my families home caught fire. Five years before that I left the supermarket job to go to my parents house. Red cynosure in the sky. My brother and I watched the helicopters dumping water, from the sky, on the place my first girlfriend and I used to go in the nights, hidden in the bush. There's nothing there now but bare rock and scrub.

Christmas last year, as Kim and Nic and I walked down Norton Street, usually a thriving street filled with beautiful girls, a cafe where they know my name, huge bookshops and a martini bar where they gave me a free beer after I got my head kicked in. On last Christmas day it was a Johnny Cash song. "I went out walking, underneath an atomic sky." My city had turned smokeglass stillness. The smell of a billion leaves combusting, great beautiful plumes of smoke staining the sky. Meggido sundown and no one on the streets. Fulci moment. The nonsecond between the match striking and the sulphur taking.

Three steps out of the pub tonight and you can taste that Sydney is on fire. You can tell. You can feel. Old wounds don't ever heal. Some children never stop flinching. I know this place. I am familiar with these tensions. As familiar and reassuring as a monster under the bed.

My city, somewhere, is burning.

2002-11-24T21:25:00.000-08:00

Good News

Star Wars Tales #14. Got the cover again. And, well, I love it. Check them out here and here.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I am celebrating by singing Turbonegro, Magic Dirt and Killswitch Engage and oddly, the punchier Andy Prieboy songs which really dates me. All loudly and off key. So, in the spirit of goodwill, I will share with you lyrics from my favourite Turbonegro song. Hobbit Motherfucker. While you all listened to fucking Nirvanna, Norway had a band who broke up in a psych hopsital emergency room.

Cyber idiots with pierced scrotums
Copulating
With animals
In cars
Parked ouside the rave party
Not enough war
Not enough famine
Not enough suffering
Not enough natural selection

Room for just one more. This one, from the epic ballad to gay motorcycle love, Screwed and Tattooed

Well, I ain't got it good
I got it bad in fact
In fact I'm fucked up
Goddamn Satans on my back
Oh, I was tired of being
Satans little whore
And now I'm dead
I got no Satans at my door

But when I came to
I counld'nt move my hands
I felt strung out
Waiting for romance
But it hurt
Hurt like hell
Motorcycle ass fucking
UHHHH - ARGGHHH

Well, now I'm dressed again
Got a fresh tattoo
And it hurts so much
When I think of you
There won't be anything
Between you and me
I am El Satan's property

All in one weird ass accent with a guitar that sounds like the death spasm of a blissful angle grinder. Oh my.

Word is they are getting back together. Please, god, yes.

2002-11-21T18:37:00.000-08:00

BLACK HOLE APOCALYPSE!

One hundred million years until we see two black holes merge

2002-11-21T05:17:00.000-08:00

Words of Advice

From Diamond Dave:
"Larceny! Somewhere between shoplifting and manslaughter two is larceny! Thins the blood, builds character, keeps the skin looking good."

Everybody wants some...

2002-11-20T22:06:00.000-08:00

ComicsPissup 2002

Some people get into comics to write Spiderman. Some people have a burning desire to master an art form. Some people get into comics to tell personal stories in a medium which is only now beginning to see the mastery of it's form exercised. Some people want a measure of fame and some people fall into it through other mediums and disciplines.

I, apparently, fell into it to find a whole new group of drinking buddies.

Yes, dear readers, Comicfest has come and gone for another year and all I am left with is a lingering hangover, little sleep, less money and some fine new friends and some brilliant comics.

Shout out to my good friends Doug Holgate, Jen Hook and Scott "the Phrase" Fraser. Good friends, good times.
Was excellent to see what's going on in the local scene. There's so many, many people out there who are doing tremendous work and I recommend you run on over to to find them. Special hellos to Garth and to Don for going the distance and sticking it out till seven in the morning when we all should have been safely tucked into bed instead of quavering for more Scotch, more beer, less light.

As usual, when a Con comes along, everyone loudly agrees to produce more work. I've got a script! I've want to pencil something! Everyone nods sagely and agrees to get into it. It rarely happens. But I have a feeling that the contacts made from this particular con are going to bear bitter fruit. And soon.

So, let me tentatively announce three new projects. Surgeons, Contractually Obliged and Cold City.
If everything works out with these, I'll post some new pages of script.

2002-11-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

Man Who Fell To Bankstown

Been a while since I've been here. Writing many thousands of words freelance. More on when you can see the results when, umn, I know when they'll come out.
Which means things have been quiet on the comic front but that will change after a week or so of me lying on my couch reading Raymond Chandler and digging up some Burroughs I've been putting off.

This weekend, check me out at www.comicfest.com. Come up and say hi either at the Phosphorescent booth or speaking with comrade in arms Secqueira at five. Bankstown Town Hall, which is easy to find and on a train line for Sydney folks.

And, here's the real news.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/11/15/1037080899329.html

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2002/11/14/1037080849468.html

For the record.
"Hi, Mum."

2002-10-12T04:43:00.000-07:00

24 Challenge

Hello all.

Have no idea if anyone will read this in time but I've just entered the 24 hour comic challenge over at www.ozcomics.com

Check out this page,

http://forums.ozcomics.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=22

To see what's going on right now.

Enjoy and I'll let you know how it all goes.

2002-10-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

Back from the Castle

All fun. Hi to everyone. Lots gone on. Sounded like a capitalist. Which made me even more ashamed when I read this.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,5673,628035,00.html

2002-10-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

Newcastle

Alright, going up to Newcastle this weekend to speak on comics and high/low culture then on autobiographical comics and why we do it.
www.youngwritersfestival.org for more details on when and where I'll be. Should be a lot of fun. Looking forward to meeting up with David Blumstein, the Naked Fella himself and a few other chaps from around the traps.

If you have nothing better to do, come to Newcastle. We'll talk. Mine's a New.

2002-09-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

All My Friends...

I'd like to give a big congratulations to Leon and MJ, who got married this weekend and made me want to learn how to Tango.

2002-09-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

S11

http://www.independent.co.uk/story.jsp?story=331115

and

http://www.msnbc.com/news/805226.asp
�My children never stopped asking me at night, �When is America going to bomb us?�

Jesus...

2002-09-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

http://lyingmofo.ohskylab.com/

I am much amused. Still too lazy to try and remember the basic HTML code that would cause this to open for, but cut and paste is a man's job and I know you will one day thank me for forcing this gruelling exercise upon you.

"My dad was bigger than Julian Barnes's dad.

That, I think, is all needs be said."

"My research led to only one conclusion: that Pablo Picasso was the gunman on the Grassy Knoll during Kennedy's assassination. The case was airtight. Before me, erect and majestic on its easel, was his minor masterpiece The Rape of the Sabine Women. In half an hour and a pint of paint stripper, we'd find the blood stains that would make this crazy bird fly triumphantly over the cuckoo's nest after all."

Go.

2002-09-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

OK. Everyone, welcome to the new look page. Bluemonkey Design have once again performed a sterling job. It's looking good. Now go hire them because they're worth every penny. www.bluemonkeydesign.com Tell them I sent you.

Some additions to the site: I have a gallery, which we'll add to shortly and them some more samples of work and all the rest of it. For the record, I'm the one in the ugly shirt and no hair in the current picks pics. Scott (Dude in a Coat, Criss Cross Jazz) Fraser is the chap without the stripey shirt and Doug (Dunwich, The Watch) Holgate, is. We all look better in real life.

Please do sign up for the mailing list. I promise not to flood your inbox with nonsense and I'm assured it's secure. So, if you want to get regular updates on what's happening, here's where to get it. I intend to send out script samples, teasers, maybe even some art now and again. If you want the goodies first, that's where to get them. A few little changes coming over the next week but this is pretty the standing design for a while.

And here's link to a new and really quite pleasing review of The Watch from Steven Grant. He gave us the lovely write-up last week for Diggsville.

"Last week I raved up Christian Read's part in DIGGSVILLE #1, and here he is back in THE WATCH Vol.2 #5 [...]. More "mainstream" than last week's piece, this issue features the first day on the job for a woman working security in a world where superhumans carry on a separatist movement. A smidge overwritten, it's one of the better post-superhero books out there, and Read has a flair for subtle characterization [...] Nice cover by Nicola Scott, and, as THE WATCH has a pretty interesting concept for this sort of thing, it wouldn't take too much work to make it about the best post-superhero book out there, especially if Read keeps the startling endings coming. Worth checking out."

From >www.cbr.cc

Good, eh?

That's it for now.

Christian.

2002-09-03T22:59:00.000-07:00

New redesign in progress.

2002-09-01T06:31:00.000-07:00

Hello all. Just letting you know that we've received a very nice write up for Digsville over at CBR. Go to Steven Grant's excellent column and scroll down about two thirds of the way. As Grant's writing has long been a fave of mine, this is something of a thrill.

www.cbr.cc

And I've written a few words, overusing the term 'sexy', in the rant column. To find out about the projects I've got coming out over the next few months, just click on rant.

Talk soon.

Christian.

2002-08-10T00:12:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon, world.

I have returned from the USA and Mexico. I cannot sleep for jetlag and duty free.

Hightlights. Drinking, American cliches, some promising leads for the future, Conceptia, the one dollar Nevada booze, a girl called Harbinger. Meeting some famous folks including Joss Whedon.

Most importantly, a few things you should know.
Dave Mack, John McCrea, Diana Schutz, James Hodgkins, Dave Land, Shane the Barman; decent blokes. Fact.

To those of you I met but didn't list in that brief list, it's because I can't think right now. So very tired.

And I'd like to give a big hello to my man, Scotty2Hotty, the Phrase. Who I terrorised throughout our trip, especially in Tijuana. Ask him about the tequila slap. And the manwhore. He is still in LA, that hellish city. I tell you, Tool had it right. And the lovely Nicola Scott, who despite being far too classy to put up with the constant stream of idiocy that seems to follow me everywhere, dealt with me and the Phrase with grace and courage.

While I was gone, some terrible, genuinely bad, things happened to some friends of mine which made my 39 hours of travel somewhat bittersweet as far as a homecoming go. And to the insane Dutch woman who treated her chair in front of me on the plane as a hobbyhorse, I am going to find you and kill you. To the women behind me who couldn't stop talk about Tony "Old Man Dino" Robbins at the equivalent of five in the morning, I hope that growth hormone freak orders you bought to him in injectable form.

More to follow shortly, because I've really got to go to sleep for a while.

2002-07-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

Off to America tommorow.

Much work to do. Something over at the rant. Go read. Hopefully will be posting pics and news here.
Haven't slept. Still doing corrects. Lazy bastard that I am, I still haven't cleaned the flat or packed but I've found time to write on this contraption.

Finally, congrats to Ms Hook.

Go read the rant.

2002-07-22T22:40:00.000-07:00

"When I die, I want my friends to eat me. I want to be fed through a wood chipper, be spread over a wheat field, then have a cake baked from the crop for all my pals to munch on. I want to return to the earth as soon as possible. I want the cake to be made of half marijuana, which makes people so much less violent than booze, and people should learn to eat pot rather than smoke it because it damages the heart and lungs less that way. It's high time someone my age talked this way."
- Larry Hagman

You know, I would never have expected a former star of Dallas to be so unrelentingly cool. Woodchipper... Nice one.
(thanks to YOPJ)

2002-07-14T23:35:00.000-07:00

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,4705548%255E13762,00.html

Two words.
Fantastic Fucking Four.

Jesus! What happens when these bastards fucking come back all space irradiated and ready to feast from the puny two-leg two-eye!
What happens when they team up with the robots!

Or as my hard rockin' amigo Nic says "First we cross them with goats, then we send them into space. Why don't
we wrap ourselves in fucking silk to make it easier for the 8-legged conquistadors? Huh?"

2002-07-14T23:21:00.000-07:00

I now have eleven proposals to take with me to San Diego.
They are
Spookshow, The Key, Flayed God, Argent, Pale Magic, Villanelle, All Souls Alive, Dragoon, Black Static, Criss Cross Jazz and The Cardinals.
I'm hoping to have eleven to take with me. But all I have is just a germ of an idea and that might not be enough with a week to go till doomsday. These series run the gamut from hard SF to 1930's crime. Two have artists attached. Perhaps I'm wasting my time trying to sell creator owned stuff in a depressed market. But the idea of writing superheroes forever sorta depresses me.

Although I have a very nasty suspicion I accidentally might have been a little too influenced in one. If I have, then it gets cut.

So. Here's hoping something happens for me in the magical world of America, yeah?

Speaking of depression, just learned the Murder City Devils broke up. The band that wrote "In the spirit of Kenneth Anger, I put a curse on you." Bloody sad. Rum to Whiskey is one of my favourite love songs of all time.

Thanks lads. Loved your work.

2002-07-04T05:35:00.000-07:00

The 5th of July is my twenty-seventh birthday.
It's all over.

I have noticed a distinct decline in my abilities to

A) eat food that languished in a pit of grease, dolour and barbecue sauce for a week
B) recover from a hangover
C) avoid responsibility

with my last two birthdays respectively for A and B.

I truly dread what tommorow will strip from me. The highway to thirty begins now. Dear Jesus who loves me.

Check out the Rant section in the next day or two for discussions on what is happening with the Watch.

2002-06-22T06:37:00.000-07:00

Fighting the kind of 'flu that wipes out populations in turn of the century small towns, I have delivered the script for Witch King #3 to the publishers. You will all no doubt be happy to know that Mr Abstruse is all but finished with issue #2 pencils. Still not sure what the timetable for the full colour release of #1 is.

Meanwhile, I'm going to slink off to my sickbed to continue coughing up things the size of a Pekingese dog and aches and pains even the saddest junkie shivering in their own vomit would envy.

Oh, yeah. Thanks to www.somethingpositive.net Discovering this charming webcomic (something I usually just don't much dig) has made me much happier in these, what could be my last moments of life, before fanged virii take me.

I've been listening to Townes Van Zant and taking him too, too seriously. Nick Drake next, I think.

2002-06-20T20:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.counterpunch.com/weiner0601.html

Everybody who has an interest in that wacky thing I like to call "The Truth" should go and give this chap a read.
It's a very neat summary of the interests Bush and his masters had in killing their own people on September 11.
Do go and, perhaps, learn something. People who would prefer to just ignore the whole thing and wave flags and talk
about how demonic Clinton was can kindly take their own lives now.

We don't need you.

Incidentally, people have been telling me I need a contact detail up here.

christianread@hotmail.com is the best way to approach me.

Robot Apocalypse Countdown - 997 days before we pledge allegiance to our pitiless steel masters.

2002-06-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2002/06/20/1023864460978.html

Robots now seek their freedom from our fleshy tyranny.
It's over.
It's all over.

2002-06-17T01:14:00.000-07:00

Star Wars Tales #12 is out.
Story by me, art by one of my long time fave artists, John McCrea.

Said comic is available at any comic store in the world.

This is all.

2002-06-06T22:01:00.000-07:00

Crom!

http://www.therussianissues.com/topics/55/02/04/02/14403.html

You laughed at Blavatsky, you laughed at Lovecraft, you laughed at Howard. Now who's laughing you miserable bastards!
Ancient prehuman Empires did exist on earth! Hah!

Actually, all gloating on behalf of mad peasants and weirdo pulp hacks aside, if this is real then the implications are staggering.
Mystery. Nothing like it.

2002-06-04T23:28:00.000-07:00

Just handed in the script to "We Were Stormtroopers", which is the true story of the Battle of Endor. As a hint to how it plays out, Dave Land the editor and I had a working title: "Blood Orgy of the Devil Ewoks". While most of the really gory jokes got cut out, I think it's the funniest thing I've ever written.

No word on when it comes out yet, but Star Wars Tales #12 should be out by now.

2002-05-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A47452-2002May20.html

Stephen Jay Gould
Dead at 60.

I didn't always agree with what he said, and sometimes he made me yell, but he was the real deal. He was a scientist who never lost sight of his mission to eductate. He never failed to insist that human learning was all about knowledge and he could make me laugh.
I'll miss him and he's better off without us.
Goodnight.

To his family... he'll be missed.

2002-05-24T22:09:00.000-07:00

http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/astronomy/bigbang_alternative_010413-1.html

...desire
I hold with those that favour fire.

2002-05-16T06:27:00.000-07:00

Just saw Star Wars Ep 2. Cracker of a film. Loads of explosions and monsters. Just what you want to see.
Felt like Mr Lucas got back up on the saddle.

Dunno if Haydn whassisface is the right man for the job at all but... still... not a bad wee film at all.

For those of you who know him... doesn't Doug Holgate look like he could be Obi-Wan?

2002-05-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

Finally, finally got the good to go on the working title "Blood Orgy of the Devil Ewoks". Star Wars Tales, third story. Very happy about that. Waiting to hear back on page length. Also, some exciting news about working with a pretty fucking cool artist, but it's a bit early to tattle.

Incidentally, here's a link to my next American work.

http://www.darkhorse.com/products/pg_profile/sku_11029/sec_search/index.html

Comes out in June. Please do me a favour and pick it up. Darth Vader playing mind games the way that only a seven foot invincible bastard can. Special prize for whoever guesses the musical reference.

Saw the trailer for the Hulk. Ang Lee looks like he might have found a way to make it work. I was very impressed with Eric Bana in the short time we saw him. Glad he's toned back on the comedic accent he used in Black Hawk Down. Still, it amuses me vastly to see "Poita" in a big Hollywood film.

2002-05-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

Alright. The news and rant site all look good to go. Everything is nice and smooth and when I press the buttons, things seem to work which to a basic technophobe like me is a deep relief.

It's looking like I'll have a bunch more news to report over the next few days if things work out. It's always best to double/triple confirm before mouthing off to the world about how wonderful you are. But, quietly confident some good stuff is coming my way. Let me simply say that I'm feeling a like I made the right choice of career as of yesterday morning.

Must dash. I have to interview a cast memeber of Episode 2 and Farscape tommorow. That should be enjoyable. I've not done an interview since, oh, I think I've only done two since I talked to Kurt Buisek when he was out here.

Still got buttons to press and tests to do to make sure this thing is going to do it's job of pimping me like low-trash.

Good evening.

2002-05-07T02:19:00.000-07:00

TEST

2002-05-07T02:15:00.000-07:00

Looks like we are live.

A few updates to come over the next few days as Webempress Hook takes on the Herculean task of getting my papers and things into order.

In case I forget to say it publically later, thank you Jen. You've done a bang up job and it's appreciated.

2002-05-07T01:36:00.000-07:00

28/4/02

Janice Hook, known in these parts, as Jen has agreed to do my site. Still not sure I need one and am vaguely embarrassed by the whole thing, but there you go. Ruthless self-promotion: activate!

1/5/02

Rotten bloody news. Just found out I got bumped from being in what seemed a pretty damn prestigious anthology book for Dark Horse. Have been assured that the removal of my inclusion was for editorial reasons and that the story will see print later this year. Ah well. It�s publishing. These things happen.

4/5/02
Finally finished �Goya in Heaven�. My first and probably only performance piece. Now must work up courage to show it to the usual array of proof readers, bench-testers and hardcore editor type folk who will hopefully tear it apart before getting back to me. Then must work up new courage to perform it.

5/5/02
Wrote most of the text for the website. Looks like Hobo Press is going to start up again. I haven�t thought about it in years, I start writing the bio stuff and up comes this offer to submit to them again. Who can believe in coincidence? Now off to pub to plan conquest of San Diego in August.